i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
