A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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