I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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