lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
