it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
