The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
