i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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