Got a toothbrush?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
