You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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