You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize