there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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