Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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