shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You made out with two different species that night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
