it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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