"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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