Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
