If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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