so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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