So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
