wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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