If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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