There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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