honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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