I think I won the penis lottery.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
