real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
