so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
