An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
