Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
