By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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