I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
