ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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