I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
