I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
