Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
