Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
