Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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