i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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