If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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