Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
