So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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