I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
