i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize