Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
