I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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