It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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