Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
