escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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