I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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