Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
