I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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