Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
