I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
