just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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