I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
