I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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