Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His nipple licking is glorious
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