Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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