Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
