"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
