Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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