You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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