Well douche your snatch and let's go!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
