grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
