I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
