I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
