why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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