Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize