She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
