My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
