P.S. I can't hear my feet
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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