Please, let me fuck your mom
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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