She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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