I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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