I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
