please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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