we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
