oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
