I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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