Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
