Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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