Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
