Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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