We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize