You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
