I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize