the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
