It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
