DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
