Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize