Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
