Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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